Reaching You
by torikasa
Summary: You're like the sun. But. I sometimes wish you weren't the sun. You're so out of reach. You're the closest star, but you're still so far. So far away... Kagehina


Contrary to his image, Kageyama is an exceptionally eloquent speaker.

There are many instances to prove this statement, but Hinata's personal favorite was a heartfelt speech under the morning sun, when they were at the beach just a couple weeks ago. It was mumbled, and he thought the dark-haired boy didn't breathe throughout the entire soliloquy because right afterward his breaths were harsh and labored, and it may have come out of nowhere, but Hinata loved every single moment of it-every single articulation, every lip movement, every click of the tongue.

"You're like the sun," he remembered Kageyama saying in a breathy tone.

(At that time, Hinata had jokingly replied with something stupid like "Because my name has the character for sun?" but any memories of what he personally said were faint.)

"No, stupid," his boyfriend had said offhandedly. Then, he had taken in a deep breath before continuing in a more serious voice, "because you're unique. There's only ever one sun up there."

(For this one, the orange-haired boy said the most childish thing—something like "Kageyama, that's so cheesy and cliche, loser," and he started to chortle and snort like it was no tomorrow. It's a wonder how Kageyama even managed to finish his speech. Fortunately, his memory of whatever stupid nonsense he had told his boyfriend ended there.)

As always, Kageyama had shot him a glare. Though, during that moment, his rage dissipated immediately, and he trudged on with his words. "I don't care if it's cliche, because it's true. You're like the sun—

—bright and fiery—

—full of hot gas and passion—

—and then you just liven up everything around you. You give life to everything.

But.

Not only that.

You're really annoying sometimes.

Really irritate me.

Because you're always there. Even at times when I just really don't want you to.

Always up there. Always happy.

Always trying. Never giving up.

You hurt my eyes. You make me sweat.

It's aggravating.

It's a nuisance.

It's the sun.

But.

You're always there for everyone, too.

And...

It makes me kinda jealous.

Because you're like the sun.

Everyone knows you.

You're just naturally there for everyone.

I sometimes wish you weren't the sun.

You're so out of reach.

You're the closest star, but you're still so far.

So far away..."

And then, the dark-haired boy, who was growing more and more flustered at the beautiful string of words seamlessly dripping out of his mouth, suddenly looked away in shame, breathing heavily from talking so much. Hinata sensed the same kind of fervor in his voice, in his midnight blues, that he had grown accustomed to whenever he heard Kageyama talking about something he really, really loved.

Just knowing he was the main focus of that passion made Hinata hesitant.

Usually, the fun-loving boy was there to crack a joke. He liked to lighten up the mood. Keep it on a less serious note.

Especially with Kageyama whom he had no idea what to say to sometimes.

But at that moment, his lips were pursed and he hugged his legs to his body. The way Kageyama had talked with such ease... with such emotion... it was unlike their usual casual conversation, but Hinata couldn't say he minded at all. It was breathtaking, the way he described every single minute detail of his analogy was flawless. Hinata wished he, too, could speak such gorgeous sentences.

But unlike Kageyama, Hinata wasn't a speaker.

He couldn't just magically form words and make them fall out of his mouth like the poetic genius his boyfriend was.

Sometimes, he oftentimes stumbled over his orders at a fast-food restaurant.

But Hinata wanted to make sure his boyfriend understood how he felt about him too.

So, at midnight, he spontaneously wakes up his still fast-asleep boyfriend, who yells into the phone a little too loudly that the rings in his ears are prolonged. It takes a while for Kageyama to get ready, but when he comes out of his house, he looks fresh and tidy, as if he hadn't just woken up from a sudden phone call ten minutes ago.

His twisted frowns and pouts signal to Hinata that his boyfriend is demanding some answers soon, but tonight, Hinata had promised himself he wouldn't speak a single word; and because of that, he hopes and pleads that Kageyama will understand his way of being eloquent.

With one quick motion, the orange-haired boy grabs the taller's boy hands and laces their fingers together, casually walking from street light to street light in a silent bounce. The only sounds between them are the tapping of their shoes and the occasional call of the distinct barred owl. Otherwise, no words are spoken between them, and though their faces may be ruddy and hot, the atmosphere is surprisingly relaxed.

As they walk further along the uneven cement, the street lights make an abrupt stop, which signals the orange-haired boy to turn and walk into the grass. Under the moonlight, the grass glows with musty blues and hints of their natural green. Beyond the empty field is a small pond, empty and reflective.

Hinata walks toward the light and plops down on the grass, urging Kageyama to do the same. Reluctantly, he does, and then he stares at the shorter boy, waiting for an answer.

"Why'd you bring me here? Don't you know people are enjoying sleep at this time, idiot?"

But there's no response from the usually loud boy. He only stares off into the sky with dreamy, lidded eyes, which prompts the dark-haired boy to do the same. His dark blue eyes strain up at the moon, and he finds himself scoffing at the sight.

"You gonna say how I'm like the moon?"

Instantly, Hinata's tufts go wild as he fervently shakes his head no no no!

Dumbfounded, Kageyama draws out a sigh but continues to look up at the sky anyway.

And Hinata, in that very moment, wishes really badly that he is able to say exactly what's on his mind.

He so desperately wants to say everything, like... Kageyama, you're like a star.

Not like a celebrity or anything.

But one of those things up there. Up in the sky.

Shining.

Most people...

Well...

They don't recognize you.

As in, they don't see you as an individual.

They clump you all together.

All you bright smartypants.

In one collective known as "stars".

People fail to notice that every star is unique.

They're hidden behind the shadows. No spotlight to themselves.

Only darkness surrounds you. Alone.

But you don't need that. You already stand out as you are.

You're a star in your own right, and you don't need to be something like me—

—the sun—

—who seeks attention and is always there—

—even though, like Kenma once told me, that the sun is also a star—

—just a bit more noticeable than the rest.

So in actuality, we're both stars.

We're both hotheaded and passionate.

The only difference is I have a name that separates me from the rest.

"The sun."

Otherwise, we're alike in almost every regard of a star.

And, well...

I kinda hope you stop seeing me as someone who's far away.

Because I'm not.

Not really, anyway.

Like the sun, I'll always be there for you.

But unlike the sun, I'm not that far away.

I'm right next to you.

I don't want to be like the sun.

I don't want you to be like a star.

Because that means we'd be light-years away from each other.

I want us to be something else. Not a sun and a star.

But...

Uh...

A couple who just looks at the sun and the stars?

Snapping right out of his dazed reverie, Hinata jolts up. Did he really say all that?

Everything is surreal to him. It feels like everything is blurred and incomprehensible. But when he sees Kageyama next to him, still and staring at the stars, Hinata realizes everything he just said was all trapped in his muses.

He tries to choke up some words, maybe be able to salvage his thoughts, but it's no use. He's unable to say anything but a simplistic and childish garble, to which his boyfriend responds with a questioning brow.

Fretting, the orange-haired boy waves his hands around, trying to explain to Kageyama that he's actually really tired right now and wants to go home and he apologizes to his boyfriend for dragging him all the way out here and oh, why is everything a mess with him?

But Kageyama just ignores everything the orange-haired boy is babbling on about. He doesn't even understand him anyway, so there's no use in trying to decipher impossibly cryptic words. Instead, he leans forward and pecks Hinata's button nose to shock him a little. Hinata's words fade into anxious splutters as his boyfriend's lips sit atop the bridge of his nose.

Then, Kageyama drifts his lips over Hinata's forehead and applies a more pressurized kiss. At that moment, Hinata completely stops speaking nonsense and accidentally bites his tongue. The pain in his mouth, however, is quickly cancelled out by the tingling euphoria on his lips, Kageyama's puckered lips on his feeling like a couple million electrical shocks.

Hinata takes in a sharp intake of air, and Kageyama slowly pulls away, training his eyes into Hinata's bright amber ones. "You get too overwhelmed sometimes," he says through gritted teeth, the corners of his lips tugging upward as he restrains them down. "Uh... well, that takes care of that."

The bubbly boy grins, all toothy and instantaneously gleeful, and plants one of his own kisses on Kageyama's soft chin, prompting a glare a la Kageyama. With a playful snicker and a bellowing bout of laughter, Hinata says, "You're too close to me, Kageyama! You're breathing down my neck!"

And with that, Kageyama is planting more and more kisses on Hinata, leaning more and more forward into the smaller boy... and then, all of a sudden, his limbs falter and his body weight shifts forward, and he topples over the orange-haired boy, who struggles underneath Kageyama's bigger body.

"Seriously, you dork... Get... offa me..." Hinata heaves out, mustering up all his strength to push his boyfriend to his side.

Unrelenting, the dark-haired boy snakes his long arms around Hinata's tiny waist, pulling the latter closer up to his chest. Hinata, the heat in his face overbearing, slightly fidgets in the comfortable hold.

"Why are you being so touchy feely? You're usually the complete opposite, Kageyama..."

Kageyama blows some air against Hinata's ear. "You said you wanted to be closer. Dummy."

"I never... wait, you heard me say all that?" The sudden realization that his boyfriend had heard every single, embarrassing, oh so not eloquent, stumbling word he said made all the tinges of pink from his cheeks drain out.

"Well, you sounded like you were talking to that owl, but yeah. Loud and clear." His boyfriend playfully knock the orange-haired and currently extremely surprised boy right on the noggin.

Hinata retorts with a simple ow, rubbing his head even though Kageyama's soft hit had done no damage. He then snuggles in even closer into his tall boyfriend's body, feeling the grass beneath them tickling his now normal again cheeks. "W-well... I guess this is fine... No harm done in this... The first time we've been this close..."

"Stop making his more awkward than it already is, idiot," Kageyama deadpans; and with that, they both drop silent.

Above them, the stars are twinkling extra bright tonight, overpowering the moon itself; and suddenly, after a few moments relishing in the comfort of one another, their heavy eyes finally drift asleep, under the starry lit midnight sky, their soft smiles glowing from the white light of the moon...

Sweet dreams.


End file.
